Suck It Up, Princess

I raced a couple times last summer and had started finding confidence right at the end of the season when catastrophe struck. During a group ride in August, the man in front of me lost control while 10 of us pace lined down a descent at 55kph. I nailed him in the chest, flipped over the bars and broke my collarbone.

The instructions I received from the ER doctor that day was to, “suck it up, Princess.” I laughed at the time, especially considering I doubt anyone who has ever known me would ever consider calling me a Princess. Grease monkey maybe, but Princess? Never. Following up with a surgeon 3 weeks later I was told the bone (see pics) would reach across and heal on its own. A second opinion had the same advice: I just had to be a princess, take it easy, suck it up, and wait. The pain improved and I was even able to join EV on their Toy Ride in late November, but trying to climb or go hard on the bike resulted in massive pain even after 3 months. Why? Because I was still in pieces.

My spinning source of stress relief soon became another cause of stress as I watched my watts drain away. After 4 months, multiple x-rays, and a CT scan, the surgeon finally agreed it needed to be plated. (I guess that’s why they call it a medical practice, not a profession) I had been riding outside and was fairly functional, but always felt like I had an extra joint in my shoulder, resulting in an almost permanent discomfort. But as cyclists- we train for discomfort. We princesses know how to suck it up!

In mid January, a green titanium plate and 8 screws bolted my right clavicle back together. A month out of surgery I was out of the non-union purgatory of hell and healing! Another few weeks I was seeing consistent improvements in fitness and found the dEVas for new inspiration. My shoulder no longer throbbed doing intervals or on hills. But the princessing continued as x-rays kept showing a gap between the bones and under doctors orders there was to be no sprinting or “sketchy situations” until that was healed.

On Friday April 3rd-exactly 224 days from my crash(7months)-I actually hugged the x-ray technician after she took an image that showed one single solid bone!

I am in one piece!! Ain't it pretty?
7 plus months! 32 weeks! 224 days! ONE SOLID RIGHT CLAVICLE!!!!!

Unfortunatly now I have muscle issues in my shoulder, back and neck from being injured for so long, but that's improving.

I decided lining up at a start line as soon as possible was the best way to get over my fear of pack riding and crashing again. Novice race, Spring Series #7 was it.

All morning, my heart was pounding although I was told I looked calm. I knew I could control my bike, but nerves became terror as I wondered if others could control theirs around the course’s fast corners.
It was time, and Jeff “Famous Ainous” Ain sent us off. We leisurely clipped in only to discover a group of 4 men was already off the front 10 seconds into the race! By the first corner we were splintered and spread. “Work together” I yelled “paceline before they get to far!” Almost instantly, a red, black , and white train of poetry in motion formed around me as the 6 of us rotated, working hard to reel them in. (But we still need work on our pace line-we fought the wind instead of blocking it, oops).

The guys were in full out attack mode, however. By the top of the power climb there were only three dEVa’s in front of me and I lost track of the others. One guy passed me attempting to bridge. “Grab his wheel,” I shouted. They didn’t hear me, but another guy was powering up beside me. I tucked behind him, drafting inches from his wheel down the hill. The dEVa’s got the message and grabbed my wheel. After flying around the corner I tried to hold on across the flats, but he was powering away. I sucked it up for as long as I could, but was already blown and he rode away from me. A flick of the elbow and the dEVa’s were there, ready for a pull.

Unfortunately, I was already in the red and the other dEVa’s were hyped up on winter base miles and adrenaline. I latched on to the last of the three and held on til the corner, but had yet to recover from the pull and fell off the back.

For the next lap I repeatedly sucked it up and fought hard to catch the three dEVa’s still in my sight. I powered on hills, whizzed on the downhill’s and leaned into corners at close to 40. (YAY! I remember how to corner!!)Multiple times I came within 15meters until another roll would send my teammates away. I debated calling out for them to back off, trying to figure out if the 4 of us could work together and be faster, or if I was already too blown to be any real help. The second time up the hill, I was on pace to catch them by the top- and then the A’s came by. Damn neutralizing! By the time the group passed I had lost more ground than I had gained.

I remained in the drops, in full throttle, go hard mode. And then my mechanical hell began. I couldn’t shift out of the big ring on the hill—and lost my chain, twice! My dEVa carrot was out of sight and no one was behind me. My time trial was on.

Now, I actually get some perverted enjoyment out of time trials. I like sucking it up, burying myself, maintaining that painful pressure on the pedals. However, what I don’t like is coming up to a guy who is cooling down after the C race and realizing his cool down speed is only slightly slower than my current threshold pace. I passed him and he had the nerve to ride my draft for a minute. That wasn’t nice!

With one lap to go I had overcome any thoughts of quitting and figured out the magic combination of front and rear shifting needed to keep my malfunctioning bike going. For one more lap I sucked it up, went into arms over bars TT position when I could, and tried to find out what kind of watts this “princess” could still pump Several times I wondering what the watts would be on my powertap read out was all that kept me going! After the last corner, I spotted the dEVa’s at the base of the climb. Despite my bad luck and blown fitness, I had actually made time up on them! As a source of pride, I sucked it up for one last climb, making sure the A racer coming up behind me didn’t beat me across the line.

35km and 1h8min of pure sucking it up resulted in wattage that shows fitness improvement! (but still a ways to go to be where I was last year) Today the “Princess” was healed and back on the bike. I kept the rubber side down, smiled after I caught my breath, and helped inspire a teamwork. Race goals accomplished!! I’ll be out again soon and if you ever see me suffering out there feel free to yell “suck it up, Princess!” It’s my theme for the year.